New Beginnings
by addictedtowriting
Summary: Addison returns to Seattle Grace four years after divorcing Derek. Will they learn to love again? Addek, of course.
1. Chapter 1

You can do this, you tell yourself as you walk up the familiar path to Seattle Grace. You can do this. _You can do this_. Even as you repeat this to yourself a couple more times, you still can't help feeling nervous, excited, and anxious all at once. It had been four years. Four long years since you had seen this hospital. Seen the familiar faces of your patients. Seen your former colleagues and interns. Seen Derek Shepherd, the love of your life, even though you were divorced. _Divorced_. You cringe inwardly as you think of the day four years ago, the day Derek announced he wanted to get rid of you, permanently. You can't say you were surprised, because you were expecting it.

As you walk through the doors of the hospital, it seems that everyone stops what they're doing. Nurses and doctors stare transfixedly as you march purposely toward Richard Webber's office. You look around for a face, _his _face, but instead you see Bailey and her group of interns. Izzie Stevens is the one that stands out to you, with her extraordinary height and shoulder length blonde hair. Beside her is George, sporting a haircut similiar to Derek's. Cristina is listening to Bailey intently, and you wonder if she is still going out with Preston Burke. Karev is missing from the group, but that's no surprise. He joined Mark in New York years ago to follow in his footsteps as a plastic surgeon. You break out of your reverie as you realize Meredith Grey is staring at you. The woman who probably went after Derek as soon as the papers were signed and the divorce was granted. You want to hate her, but you can't. She was only part of the problem.

You can hear the whispering as you near the interns. They're all probably wondering why you're here. But you don't care what they think, because you're Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd (you never got rid of his last name), and you're ready to prove to this hospital that you are over him, no matter what anyone says.

"Addison! What are you doing here?" Miranda exclaims as she engulfs you in a hug.

"I'm here for a consult that Richard needed me for. I'll be here for two weeks." You say the last part while looking at Meredith.

You chat with Miranda for a couple more minutes, all the while searching for Derek. You want him to know that you're here, and that you've moved on. Well,_ almost _moved on.

Miranda excuses herself, but promises that you'll catch up later. As you resume your walk to Webber's office, you can't help but laugh at the shocked expressions on the interns' faces, especially Meredith's. You wonder if her and Derek are married. You didn't see a ring on her finger, but still, you never know.

You finally reach Richard's office. It feels like you've been walking forever. Your feet are aching, but that's what you get for wearing high heels. Still, you know you look pretty damn good. You're about to open the door when you realize someone is already turning the handle to come out. You stop breathing as you come face to face with Derek. Your heart is beating out of your chest, and your palms are starting to sweat, but none of that seems to matter as you stare into his eyes. Those piercing blue eyes that you had gotten lost in so many times before. You hate that he still has the same effect on you, after all these years.

"Addison, what-hi."

A smile plays on your lips as you respond. "Good morning, Doctor McDreamy."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Thank you so much for your reviews! They are what really keep me going. As of now, school isn't that busy, so I'll try to update whenever I can. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! **

**Chapter 2**

He laughs at the nickname. "No one has called me that in years. Until now, I thought I was losing my touch."

"You? Lose your McDreaminess? Never."

He laughs again, and looks away for a second, then looks back, like he can't believe you're here. Honestly, you can't believe you're here either.

He's looking at you, really looking at you. The way he used to look at you before Seattle, and before Mark. You can feel yourself start to blush, and you look away.

"You look great Addie, you really do. I have a surgery, but maybe we can grab a coffee later and catch up."

You're reluctant, but as he gives you his signature smile, you can't help but give in. As you exchange goodbyes, you can't help but feel giddy. He's back in your life again, and everything feels normal.

* * *

After a quick chat with Richard, you meet with your patient. A 30-year old woman, her unborn baby treated with very severe brain damage. You plan on delivering the baby tomorrow, then trying to figure out the cause of the damage from there.

Once you leave your patient, you decide to watch Derek's surgery. It had been so long since you had watched him operate. After he had finished surgeries in New York, he had always used to look up at you and smile. You had used to think nothing of it, but once your marriage had started to fall apart, you realized just how much you missed those little smiles.

The gallery is empty when you walk in. You sit and watch Derek for what seems like forever. As you watch, you can't help but notice Meredith Grey alongside him. It still hurts to see her near him. Again, you wonder if they're together or not. It would probably kill you if they were married. Married and happy, just like you had been so many years ago.

"I figured you'd be here."

You look up to see Miranda walking towards you.

"Well, I have nothing better to do," you say with a shrug.

"They're not together, you know."

"I wasn't-really?" You can feel your heart start to swell.

"Well, they used to be, but-do you really want to hear this?"

"Yeah, I do."

"After you left, Derek waited almost a year before dating her. He was so upset over losing you. I don't think he slept. He thrived on coffee, and almost never left the hospital. But after a year, he started to date her. It only lasted a couple months, though. He just lost interest in her. I know he did." She pauses, then says, "I think he finally realized that she wasn't you."

You're speechless. You stare at Miranda for a couple of seconds, then turn back to watch Derek. And as if on cue, he looks up and grins at you. You can't help but smile back.

* * *

A couple of hours later, you're sitting in your hotel room, lazily flipping through the newspaper. Your head is still reeling from what Miranda told you. When you think about it, really think about it, you didn't just come here for the consult. A part of you came here for him. But this isn't like last time. Last time, you had stayed with Mark for months before finally jetting off to Seattle. Last time, you were fighting like hell for your marriage. And last time, you weren't divorced. Everything has changed now. You know you can't be with him. He doesn't want you. He's moved on.

As you reach for the television remote, there's a knock on the door. When you open it, you gasp. Derek's standing in front of you, a cup of coffee in each hand.

"So I was thinking that maybe we could have that coffee now," he says as he hands you a cup.

You laugh and let him in. "How did you know where I was staying?"

"I asked Bailey. She didn't have a problem telling me. Unless you don't want me to be here, then I understand. I could go."

"No! I mean, no. It's fine. I'm glad she told you," you add with a shaky laugh. But really, you could kill Miranda. You're in pajamas, with not a bit of makeup on. Maybe you could excuse yourself and put on some lip gloss.

He makes his way over to your bed, and sits down. "How are you, Addison?"

"I'm good, really good. New York's great."

"How's your family?"

"They're fine. Jane just graduated from NYU, actually."

"Really? That's great."

"Yeah." Oh God, now it's getting awkward. What do you say to him?

"How's Mark?"

You almost spit out your coffee. "Wh-What?"

"Well, I just assumed you were with him."

"No, I'm not. With him, that is. I still talk to him, though. He's getting married in the spring."

You can tell that Derek is genuinely surprised at this information. Unlike him, you didn't wait a year before going back to screwing somebody else.

"Derek, I never loved him. When I slept with him, it really was a mistake. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I know you don't believe me, but still. I just, I don't know. I missed you, and I needed someone. I was stupid."

"Yeah, you were."

"How's Meredith? Is she still an intern?" Two can play this game.

"Addie, stop. We need to stop this."

"Stop what? What are we doing?"

"This. This bickering. We both made mistakes, and we just need to move on. I-I'm not with Meredith. I don't love her. We're just friends."

You sigh. "Okay. You're right. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. For everything."

"It's okay, Derek."

You take a sip of coffee, and sit down on the bed next to him. He doesn't flinch when you rest your head on his shoulder. Instead, he wraps his arm around your waist, bringing you closer.

"I've missed you," you murmur as you close your eyes. You're exhausted, but you don't want him to know that. You want him to stay. Forever, if possible.

"I've missed you too, Addie. You have no idea."

You sit like that for a couple of minutes, before his arm finally leaves your waist and he gets up.

"It's getting late. I should get going."

You're silent as you follow him to the door.

"Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you come over tomorrow night and I'll cook you dinner?"

"You cook now?" you ask.

"Oh yes. Not as good as you, though. I've missed your cooking."

"How can you cook in that trailer? The kitchen is the size of my bathroom."

"Hey, don't diss the trailer. I still happen to enjoy living there."

You giggle at his serious expression, and he beams back at you. "So how about it? Dinner for tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, sure. I'd like that."

He smiles once again, and kisses you on the cheek. You can't help but shiver at his touch.

"'Night, Addie."

"Goodnight, Derek."


End file.
